Posts Tagged ‘Football’

Lane Kiffin Must Be The Woman! – Urban Meyer Wins Bet.

September 18, 2009

After getting beaten and humiliated by the Florida Gators, Urban Meyer, Tim Tebow and the water boys…Tennessee Head Football Coach Lane Kifin was forced to dress like his smoking hot wife Layla and join Urban Meyer for his festive victory dance at “The Swamp” ballroom and saloon on University Ave.

Kiffin was further humiliated after this dance, by being forced to dance like a can-can girl by local police officers and homeless people curbside.

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Tennessee’s Lane Kiffin and Phil Fulmer Star in New Fall TV Show – “Kiffigans Island”

September 18, 2009

After a 3 hour recruiting trip, University of Tennessee Head coach Kiffin and Phil Fulmer get lost in Appalachia.

Local angry banjo players force Kiffin and Fulmer to dance for their freedom, after getting blasted by the Florida Gators….yet again.

SEC football coaches Urban Meyer and Lane Kiffin star in remake of classic movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life.”

September 16, 2009

The film takes place in the fictional town of Knoxford Falls shortly after the depression and stars Lane Kiffin as Coach Vol, a man whose imminent suicide on the eve of the Gator game gains the attention of his guardian angel, Phil Fulmer) who is sent to help him in his hour of need. Much of the film is told through flashbacks spanning Kiffin’s entire life and narrated by Tebow and Spikes, unseen Angels who are preparing Fulmer for his mission to save Kiffin. Through these flashbacks we see all the people whose lives have been touched by Kiffin and the indifference he has made to the community in which he lives and is secretly trying to escape from.

VIDEO: Tim Tebow Caught Dancing With ESPN Erin Andrews Last Night

September 15, 2009

University of Florida Gators handsome Uber QB Tim Tebow is caught dancing the night away with beautiful ESPN sideline reporter Erin Andrews. This top secret and previously unseen video was recorded with security camera’s at the famous “Late Night” nightclub, in Gainesville, FL.

This video confirms rumors that the two were secretly dating.
DEVELOPING …..

“High School Sacrifice” – Troy To Be Executed at Halftime …READ NOW”

September 8, 2009
Troy (Zak Efron) To Be Sacrificed During Gators Halftime Show

Troy (Zac Efron) To Be Sacrificed During Gators Halftime Show

Zac Efron, the likeable Disney actor who is “Troy” in the Disney movie “High School Musical” will be the human sacrifice this Saturday at halftime of the University of Florida Gators vs the Troy University Trojans football game, in Gainesville, FL.

Heisman QB Tim Tebow will spear Troy during refreshing Disney halftime show

Heisman QB Tim Tebow will spear Troy during refreshing Disney halftime show

Performing the sacrifice will be the entire Gator football team, led by Heisman Quarterback Tim Tebow. Tebow, seen here, will be wearing his warrior Trojan outfit to spear Efron during the unique halftime entertainment show.

Last week, Baptist University¬† Charleston Southern was fed to the alligators…and this week….a human sacrifice of “Troy.”

Seen above is Trojan Horse that Efron and cast of High School Musical will be brought onto Florida Field for halftime show and Troy sacrifice.

Seen above is Trojan Horse that Efron and cast of High School Musical will be brought onto Florida Field for halftime show and Troy sacrifice.

Seen in the article is the Trojan Horse vessel that Efron will be brought into Florida Field to midfield, where he and the cast of High School musical will perform a song and dance routine, before the sacrifice.

Troy University head football coach Larry Blakeney stated that his football team will also be sacrificed this weekend in Gainesville by the defending BCS National Champion Florida Gators football team.

Blakeney said that many of his players will be injured and maimed. Those players who cannot walk off the field, will be euthanized on the sidelines.

Here’s to “Troy”…may he/they live long in the memories of Florida Gator fans.

NCAA Approves Lambs To Be Fed To Florida Alligators On LIVE Television

September 1, 2009

Claims It Will Increase Ratings, Viewing Audience and Greedy Advertisers.

Sacrificial lambs before being led to slaughter

Sacrificial lambs before being led to slaughter

Tim Tebow is confident and ready to skewer and BBQ the Charleston Southern Football team this weekend in Gainesville, for the opening game of the 2009 football season.

Tenacious Tim, seen above after sharpening his spear, is ready to impale the sacrificial Charleston Southern football squad. Charleston Southern, not known for the football prowess has thrown their helpless football team “lambs” to the “lions” by their athletic director, Hank Small.

The Charleston Southern Buccaneers, a tiny Baptist college of only 3,000 peaceful students will face the defending 2008 BCS National Champion University of Florida Gators. It can be compared to the Christians (Baptists in this case) being thrown to the lions, of biblical lore.

Gator eating the flesh of Charleston Southern football team members

Gator eating the flesh of Charleston Southern football team members

If there ever was a mismatch this NCAA season…..this is the game!

Gator alumni are somewhat embarrassed that this game is even happening. Already the Associated Press has given the spread on this game to over 70 points. Football fans feel sorry for the players on the Buccaneer football team. Alachua County has extra ambulances and paramedics ready to cart off injured Southern Carolina players.

Shands Hospital in Gainesville has called in extra medical personnel to the emergency room and orthopedic departments.

Red Cross has medivac helicopters on stand-by.

The Florida Gators will chomp the Buccaneers and make them walk the plank… and send them back home with bad memories and trauma. Pychologists are prepared to provide the Buccaneer squad with counseling and me3otional support groups when they return to Charleston.

In case Charleston Southern gets too many players injured to field a squad, or in case they quit and walk off the field….Ft. Lauderdale St Thomas Aquinas High School, one the the top high school football teams tin the nation, will replace the Charleston Southern football team, to finish the game.

Will David slay Goliath this Saturday? Absolutely not.

3 Paramedic ambulance teams will be prepared to rush injured Buccaneer football players to the emergency rooms of local hospitals

3 Paramedic ambulance teams will be prepared to rush injured Buccaneer football players to the emergency rooms of local hospitals

Tebow and the Gators victorious….and Gator fans….happy yet embarrassed by the degree of this monumental mismatch.

Stay tuned to count the carnage.

DEVELOPING….

Steven Speilberg rumored to be recruiting Tim Tebow for remake of Charlton Heston epic movie. “The Promise” Speech Immortalizes Tim Tebow to Global Audience.

April 27, 2009

Tim Tebow to play Charlton Heston in remake of epic film.

Tim Tebow rumored to play Charlton Heston in remake of epic film.

Tebow becomes immortalized forever - eclipseS "Win One For The Gipper" speech

Tebow’s “The Promise” becomes immortalized forever – eclipses Notre Dame “Win One For The Gipper” speech. George Gipp turns in his grave.

Susan Boyle Gets Married to American Football Star! “Britain’s Got Talent” overnight sensation accepts proposal on live TV show.

April 17, 2009
Susan Boyle Accepts Tim Tebow's Marriage Proposal on LIVE TV

Susan Boyle Accepts Tim Tebow's Marriage Proposal on LIVE TV

TIM TEBOW AND “BRITAIN’S GOT TALENT” STAR SUSAN BOYLE SURPRISE THE WORLD AND GET MARRIED !

WOW ….we didn’t see this one coming.

It seems not only was Demi Moore and Ashton Kucher all verclempt when watching unknow Susan Boyle captivate the world, when she performed Le Miserable song “Dream The Dream”, on popular Brit show “Britain’s Got Talent.”

It appears that University of Florida National Champion and Heisman Trophy winning quarterback Tim Tebow was so overwhelmed that he flew by private jet across the Atlantic to be first in line, to propose to Susan Boyle.

The homely singer, who has never been married nor kissed a human, gleefully accepted Tebow’s¬† love committment offer. She lept into his burly arms and planted a kiss smack on his lips.

Tebow, who also hasn’t been married, stated that they were going to spend the next two days learning how to kiss, at the Ramada Inn, located in West Lothian, Scotland.

They were last seen hopping into a taxi, giggling all the way to their honeymoon hideaway….not only Dreaming The Dream …but living the dream. They are now making beautiful, sweet music together…

DEVELOPING …

Tim Tebow Stars in Braveheart II: The Battle Of The Nation

December 3, 2008

Florida Florida St Football

(Tim Tebow & Mel Gibson (William Wallace) let out a tribal victory yell)

Tim Tebow has been chosen by Steven Speilberg to replace Mel Gibson as William Wallace in the sequel to BRAVEHEART, the dynamic Acacedmy Award winning epic movie about good vs evil.

Tebow will recreate the role of William Wallace as he battle against evil King Saban of Alabama.

In on of the greatest battle sequences in cinematic history, Tim Tebow will fight a guerilla war inside of the Georgia Dome for the SEC championship and an invitation to play for the BCS National Championship game in Miami.

Tebow is also on a historic path to win the Heisman Trophy a second time ..the only underclassmen ever to be considered to win it twice.

Bring your popcorn and sword….it will be the greatest Gators battle in recent history.

Tebow victorious …the super hero of the 21st century and the millenium beyond….

Brett Favre Traded For Tim Tebow in Shocking Blockbuster QB Deal! First Time Ever Professional Team Trades A Player To A College Team.

August 5, 2008

Green Bay Packers QB Brett Favre Traded To Florida Gators For Future Rights To Negotiate With Heisman Winner Tim Tebow !

Even I never saw this one coming !

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell and the NCAA have been negotiating in seclusion for 7 days to negotiate this unprecedented trade involve a professional team and an NCAA team.

Living Legend Green bay Packers quarterback Breet Favre, who still has 6 months NCAA eligibility remaining, has been traded to Urban Meyer’s Florida Gators football squad. Goodell stated that Green Bay will be allowed future negotiation rights to Tim Tebow, whenever he decides to leave the University of Florida.

Favre will compete with Tebow for the starting quarterback position, according to inside sources.

Many inside of Gator Nation feel that Tebow will beat Favre out for the position, based upon his youth, strength, ability and aggressive style of play.

Tebow said, “Bring him on …I’m ready to compete with him for the position. May the best man win.”

….STAY TUNED FOR BREAKING NEWS