Posts Tagged ‘championship’

NCAA Approves Lambs To Be Fed To Florida Alligators On LIVE Television

September 1, 2009

Claims It Will Increase Ratings, Viewing Audience and Greedy Advertisers.

Sacrificial lambs before being led to slaughter

Sacrificial lambs before being led to slaughter

Tim Tebow is confident and ready to skewer and BBQ the Charleston Southern Football team this weekend in Gainesville, for the opening game of the 2009 football season.

Tenacious Tim, seen above after sharpening his spear, is ready to impale the sacrificial Charleston Southern football squad. Charleston Southern, not known for the football prowess has thrown their helpless football team “lambs” to the “lions” by their athletic director, Hank Small.

The Charleston Southern Buccaneers, a tiny Baptist college of only 3,000 peaceful students will face the defending 2008 BCS National Champion University of Florida Gators. It can be compared to the Christians (Baptists in this case) being thrown to the lions, of biblical lore.

Gator eating the flesh of Charleston Southern football team members

Gator eating the flesh of Charleston Southern football team members

If there ever was a mismatch this NCAA season…..this is the game!

Gator alumni are somewhat embarrassed that this game is even happening. Already the Associated Press has given the spread on this game to over 70 points. Football fans feel sorry for the players on the Buccaneer football team. Alachua County has extra ambulances and paramedics ready to cart off injured Southern Carolina players.

Shands Hospital in Gainesville has called in extra medical personnel to the emergency room and orthopedic departments.

Red Cross has medivac helicopters on stand-by.

The Florida Gators will chomp the Buccaneers and make them walk the plank… and send them back home with bad memories and trauma. Pychologists are prepared to provide the Buccaneer squad with counseling and me3otional support groups when they return to Charleston.

In case Charleston Southern gets too many players injured to field a squad, or in case they quit and walk off the field….Ft. Lauderdale St Thomas Aquinas High School, one the the top high school football teams tin the nation, will replace the Charleston Southern football team, to finish the game.

Will David slay Goliath this Saturday? Absolutely not.

3 Paramedic ambulance teams will be prepared to rush injured Buccaneer football players to the emergency rooms of local hospitals

3 Paramedic ambulance teams will be prepared to rush injured Buccaneer football players to the emergency rooms of local hospitals

Tebow and the Gators victorious….and Gator fans….happy yet embarrassed by the degree of this monumental mismatch.

Stay tuned to count the carnage.

DEVELOPING….

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Tim Tebow Stars in Braveheart II: The Battle Of The Nation

December 3, 2008

Florida Florida St Football

(Tim Tebow & Mel Gibson (William Wallace) let out a tribal victory yell)

Tim Tebow has been chosen by Steven Speilberg to replace Mel Gibson as William Wallace in the sequel to BRAVEHEART, the dynamic Acacedmy Award winning epic movie about good vs evil.

Tebow will recreate the role of William Wallace as he battle against evil King Saban of Alabama.

In on of the greatest battle sequences in cinematic history, Tim Tebow will fight a guerilla war inside of the Georgia Dome for the SEC championship and an invitation to play for the BCS National Championship game in Miami.

Tebow is also on a historic path to win the Heisman Trophy a second time ..the only underclassmen ever to be considered to win it twice.

Bring your popcorn and sword….it will be the greatest Gators battle in recent history.

Tebow victorious …the super hero of the 21st century and the millenium beyond….