Posts Tagged ‘bowl games’

NCAA Approves Lambs To Be Fed To Florida Alligators On LIVE Television

September 1, 2009

Claims It Will Increase Ratings, Viewing Audience and Greedy Advertisers.

Sacrificial lambs before being led to slaughter

Sacrificial lambs before being led to slaughter

Tim Tebow is confident and ready to skewer and BBQ the Charleston Southern Football team this weekend in Gainesville, for the opening game of the 2009 football season.

Tenacious Tim, seen above after sharpening his spear, is ready to impale the sacrificial Charleston Southern football squad. Charleston Southern, not known for the football prowess has thrown their helpless football team “lambs” to the “lions” by their athletic director, Hank Small.

The Charleston Southern Buccaneers, a tiny Baptist college of only 3,000 peaceful students will face the defending 2008 BCS National Champion University of Florida Gators. It can be compared to the Christians (Baptists in this case) being thrown to the lions, of biblical lore.

Gator eating the flesh of Charleston Southern football team members

Gator eating the flesh of Charleston Southern football team members

If there ever was a mismatch this NCAA season…..this is the game!

Gator alumni are somewhat embarrassed that this game is even happening. Already the Associated Press has given the spread on this game to over 70 points. Football fans feel sorry for the players on the Buccaneer football team. Alachua County has extra ambulances and paramedics ready to cart off injured Southern Carolina players.

Shands Hospital in Gainesville has called in extra medical personnel to the emergency room and orthopedic departments.

Red Cross has medivac helicopters on stand-by.

The Florida Gators will chomp the Buccaneers and make them walk the plank… and send them back home with bad memories and trauma. Pychologists are prepared to provide the Buccaneer squad with counseling and me3otional support groups when they return to Charleston.

In case Charleston Southern gets too many players injured to field a squad, or in case they quit and walk off the field….Ft. Lauderdale St Thomas Aquinas High School, one the the top high school football teams tin the nation, will replace the Charleston Southern football team, to finish the game.

Will David slay Goliath this Saturday? Absolutely not.

3 Paramedic ambulance teams will be prepared to rush injured Buccaneer football players to the emergency rooms of local hospitals

3 Paramedic ambulance teams will be prepared to rush injured Buccaneer football players to the emergency rooms of local hospitals

Tebow and the Gators victorious….and Gator fans….happy yet embarrassed by the degree of this monumental mismatch.

Stay tuned to count the carnage.

DEVELOPING….

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Susan Boyle Gets Married to American Football Star! “Britain’s Got Talent” overnight sensation accepts proposal on live TV show.

April 17, 2009
Susan Boyle Accepts Tim Tebow's Marriage Proposal on LIVE TV

Susan Boyle Accepts Tim Tebow's Marriage Proposal on LIVE TV

TIM TEBOW AND “BRITAIN’S GOT TALENT” STAR SUSAN BOYLE SURPRISE THE WORLD AND GET MARRIED !

WOW ….we didn’t see this one coming.

It seems not only was Demi Moore and Ashton Kucher all verclempt when watching unknow Susan Boyle captivate the world, when she performed Le Miserable song “Dream The Dream”, on popular Brit show “Britain’s Got Talent.”

It appears that University of Florida National Champion and Heisman Trophy winning quarterback Tim Tebow was so overwhelmed that he flew by private jet across the Atlantic to be first in line, to propose to Susan Boyle.

The homely singer, who has never been married nor kissed a human, gleefully accepted Tebow’s  love committment offer. She lept into his burly arms and planted a kiss smack on his lips.

Tebow, who also hasn’t been married, stated that they were going to spend the next two days learning how to kiss, at the Ramada Inn, located in West Lothian, Scotland.

They were last seen hopping into a taxi, giggling all the way to their honeymoon hideaway….not only Dreaming The Dream …but living the dream. They are now making beautiful, sweet music together…

DEVELOPING …

Santa Claus Comes Down Tim Tebow’s Chimney Early – Delivers Associated Press “Player of The Year” Award

December 19, 2007

santa-claus-tebow.jpg

Santa Claus and Timmy Tebow Celebrate AP Player of The Year Honors

Tim Tebow was selected as the Associate Press “Player of The Year” on Tuesday. The voting was very similar to the voting that made him the first sophomore to ever win the Heisman Trophy.

Tebow has been acquiring awards at a record pace. Awards he has won in the past month include the Davey O’Brien Award, Maxwell Award, Heisman Trophy Award, Associated Press Player of The Year Award and the All Around “Good Guy” Award from Good Guys International.

Tebow received 31 of a possible 58 votes from Associated Press poll voters. Coming in 2nd with 19 votes was Arkansas running back Darren McFadden and Hawaii quarterback Colt Brennas was third with four votes.

Tebow can be seen on New Years Day playing in the Orlando Citrus Bowl against Michigan.