Archive for the ‘Rumors’ Category

Will Kerwin Bell Be The New Gators Offensive Coordinator ?

December 14, 2009

Kerwin Bell - Gators New Offensive Coordinator?

BREAKING GATOR COACHING RUMORS

Rumors have been circulating in the Southeast that former Gator QB Kerwin Bell is being considered for the Louisville and the University of Florida’s Offensive Coordinator. Many are coveting Bells’ wide open “Shake n’ Bake” offensive strategy.

New Louisville Head coach Charley Strong is very eager to land Bell as his new offensive coordinator, and simultaneously swirling Gator rumors are that Bell will be reunited with his former player Johnny Brantley, who he coached in High School in  Ocala, FL for a record setting offense.

Bell, currently head coach at Jacksonville University has been a hot commodity in the past few days. He has turned around a horrible program at Jacksonville with a wide open offense which he developed over his career in the Canadian Football League, the NFL and college.

He was tutored himself by offensive godfather Steve Spurrier, who was his coach when Bell was the Gators QB.

Many Gator fans grumbled this past year under the offensive leadership of converted Offensive Line coach Steve Addazzio, who put too much responsibility on Tim Tebow, and did not utilize the weapons that he had on offense. The Gator won “ugly” every game…and Gator Nation might’ve been spoiled over the years with wide open offense. It was clear that the Gators missed the playcalling of Dan Mullen, who left to become head coach at Mississippi State and made great improvements on that program in 1 year.

Kerwin Bell and Johnny Brantley - A Match Made In QB-Heaven

WILL BRANTLEY BE REUNITED WITH HIS MUSE …”SHAKE N’ BAKE” OFFENSIVE GURU, COACH KERWIN BELL

Gator nation would like to see Kerwin Bell return to the Gators sidelines and be reunited with his star student Johnny Brantley, to utilize his talents to their full potential next season.

In this regard, this writer agrees.

Hiring Kerwin Bell would be a great addition to the Gators staff.

Get-R-Done

DEVELOPING ….

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BREAKING TIM TEBOW NEWS! Tebow Receives “Shock Absorber” Brain in New Sports Medicine Proceedure. Revolutionizes Concussion Comebacks !

October 10, 2009

BREAKING TIM TEBOW NEWS !

Tim Tebow displays baboon brain to medical interns at UF Shands Hospital

Tim Tebow displays Shock Absorber brain on his way to brain transplant surgery, performed by reknowned surgeon Dr. Walter Smojohowicz

Another medical advancement is being made today.

University of Florida Gators QB Tiom Tebow’s has received brain replacement surgery, known as “Shock Absorber” cranial inversion surgery. Details are coming out from Shands Medical Center, and it seems to be a radical technology advancement between Schutt (manufacturer of football helmets), Nike and General Motors.

Noted brain surgeon Walter Smojohowicz stated that this proceedure should allow Tebow play in the LSU game, but would need to receive fresh hydraulic fluid after the game.

This new technology allows Tebow brain to sit in a blanket of fluid, that will act like a cushion inside his skull, that his brain will be cradled in. According to medical experts, this will allow Tebow to play concussion free for the rest of the Gators football season.

Las Vegas oddsmakers have taken to the news well…the Gators are favored to win the game in Baton Rouge.

Seen below is an X-Ray of Tebow’s bruised brain prior to surgery

DOH! Seen above is the the amazing brain of John Reaves

X-Ray of Tim Tebow's brain after his concussion. Seen in this image is his compacted supercomputer, superhuman, processing data center.

Stay tuned to breaking news on the risky procedure.

DEVELOPING ….

Tennessee’s Lane Kiffin and Phil Fulmer Star in New Fall TV Show – “Kiffigans Island”

September 18, 2009

After a 3 hour recruiting trip, University of Tennessee Head coach Kiffin and Phil Fulmer get lost in Appalachia.

Local angry banjo players force Kiffin and Fulmer to dance for their freedom, after getting blasted by the Florida Gators….yet again.

“High School Sacrifice” – Troy To Be Executed at Halftime …READ NOW”

September 8, 2009
Troy (Zak Efron) To Be Sacrificed During Gators Halftime Show

Troy (Zac Efron) To Be Sacrificed During Gators Halftime Show

Zac Efron, the likeable Disney actor who is “Troy” in the Disney movie “High School Musical” will be the human sacrifice this Saturday at halftime of the University of Florida Gators vs the Troy University Trojans football game, in Gainesville, FL.

Heisman QB Tim Tebow will spear Troy during refreshing Disney halftime show

Heisman QB Tim Tebow will spear Troy during refreshing Disney halftime show

Performing the sacrifice will be the entire Gator football team, led by Heisman Quarterback Tim Tebow. Tebow, seen here, will be wearing his warrior Trojan outfit to spear Efron during the unique halftime entertainment show.

Last week, Baptist University  Charleston Southern was fed to the alligators…and this week….a human sacrifice of “Troy.”

Seen above is Trojan Horse that Efron and cast of High School Musical will be brought onto Florida Field for halftime show and Troy sacrifice.

Seen above is Trojan Horse that Efron and cast of High School Musical will be brought onto Florida Field for halftime show and Troy sacrifice.

Seen in the article is the Trojan Horse vessel that Efron will be brought into Florida Field to midfield, where he and the cast of High School musical will perform a song and dance routine, before the sacrifice.

Troy University head football coach Larry Blakeney stated that his football team will also be sacrificed this weekend in Gainesville by the defending BCS National Champion Florida Gators football team.

Blakeney said that many of his players will be injured and maimed. Those players who cannot walk off the field, will be euthanized on the sidelines.

Here’s to “Troy”…may he/they live long in the memories of Florida Gator fans.

Steven Speilberg rumored to be recruiting Tim Tebow for remake of Charlton Heston epic movie. “The Promise” Speech Immortalizes Tim Tebow to Global Audience.

April 27, 2009

Tim Tebow to play Charlton Heston in remake of epic film.

Tim Tebow rumored to play Charlton Heston in remake of epic film.

Tebow becomes immortalized forever - eclipseS "Win One For The Gipper" speech

Tebow’s “The Promise” becomes immortalized forever – eclipses Notre Dame “Win One For The Gipper” speech. George Gipp turns in his grave.

Susan Boyle Gets Married to American Football Star! “Britain’s Got Talent” overnight sensation accepts proposal on live TV show.

April 17, 2009
Susan Boyle Accepts Tim Tebow's Marriage Proposal on LIVE TV

Susan Boyle Accepts Tim Tebow's Marriage Proposal on LIVE TV

TIM TEBOW AND “BRITAIN’S GOT TALENT” STAR SUSAN BOYLE SURPRISE THE WORLD AND GET MARRIED !

WOW ….we didn’t see this one coming.

It seems not only was Demi Moore and Ashton Kucher all verclempt when watching unknow Susan Boyle captivate the world, when she performed Le Miserable song “Dream The Dream”, on popular Brit show “Britain’s Got Talent.”

It appears that University of Florida National Champion and Heisman Trophy winning quarterback Tim Tebow was so overwhelmed that he flew by private jet across the Atlantic to be first in line, to propose to Susan Boyle.

The homely singer, who has never been married nor kissed a human, gleefully accepted Tebow’s  love committment offer. She lept into his burly arms and planted a kiss smack on his lips.

Tebow, who also hasn’t been married, stated that they were going to spend the next two days learning how to kiss, at the Ramada Inn, located in West Lothian, Scotland.

They were last seen hopping into a taxi, giggling all the way to their honeymoon hideaway….not only Dreaming The Dream …but living the dream. They are now making beautiful, sweet music together…

DEVELOPING …

Is Tim Tebow an iPhone or Blackberry User ?

March 7, 2009

tebow-perplexed

Is Gator National Championship QB Tim Tebow an  iPhone or Blackberry user ?

Gator Nation is chomping at the bit and executives at Apple and RIM are in anguish over which cell phone Tim Tebow has decided to use.

The expected boost in business, related to the Tebow announcement has shareholders and CEO’s on edge.

Will Tebow choose the Apple iPhone and the Apple iTunes store?

or …will Tebow choose the Blackberry Storm and the Blackberry App World store ?

….DEVELOPING

Tim Tebow Stars in Braveheart II: The Battle Of The Nation

December 3, 2008

Florida Florida St Football

(Tim Tebow & Mel Gibson (William Wallace) let out a tribal victory yell)

Tim Tebow has been chosen by Steven Speilberg to replace Mel Gibson as William Wallace in the sequel to BRAVEHEART, the dynamic Acacedmy Award winning epic movie about good vs evil.

Tebow will recreate the role of William Wallace as he battle against evil King Saban of Alabama.

In on of the greatest battle sequences in cinematic history, Tim Tebow will fight a guerilla war inside of the Georgia Dome for the SEC championship and an invitation to play for the BCS National Championship game in Miami.

Tebow is also on a historic path to win the Heisman Trophy a second time ..the only underclassmen ever to be considered to win it twice.

Bring your popcorn and sword….it will be the greatest Gators battle in recent history.

Tebow victorious …the super hero of the 21st century and the millenium beyond….

Even Canadian Hockey Player Wants Tebow to Win Heisman

December 5, 2007

burnett-goalie-1.jpg

Ed Burnett, former NHL All-Star selected Tim Tebow for Heisman!

Hockey Night Canada broke a news story Wednesday night that all of Canada agrees with. A poll by Beaver Research Group released to the CBC shows that 89% of Canadians want Tim Tebow to win the Heisman Trophy on Saturday night. The remaining 11% of Canadians polled, don’t even know what football is.