Archive for the ‘Breaking News’ Category

Tebow Stuns Haters Again! Leads Broncos in Full Moon victory over Steelers in NFL Playoffs.

January 8, 2012

TEBOW PUTS FINAL NAIL IN PITTSBURGH STEELERS COFFIN !

(Terrific Tim Tebow running against the #1 defense in the NFL in stunning victory)

DENVER – Jan 8, 2012

The amazing story of Tim Tebow continues to surprise the world and silence haters. Today, Tim Tebow led the Denver Broncos in a victory over much favored Pittsburgh Steelers, in Denver. Even mother nature was helping out, with a full moon rising above the sold out stadium. The Broncos stunned the Pittsburgh Steelers with this upset victory and will be taking on Tom Brady and the New England Patriots next week in Foxborough, MA.

Excited fan Pete Nasca elatedly posted messages all over his Facebook page and social networks, praising Tebows leadership skills. TV ratings, according the Neillsen ratings set new playoff records for TV audience viewership.

The 80 yard overtime touchdown pass ended the game and sealed the opportunity to advance in the playoffs. Mark Davis, a dejected Pittsburgh fan stated afterwards, that he will be weeping like a girl for days.

DEVELOPING …….

Tebow Makes Elway Looks Like Horses Ass

December 6, 2011

Denver Broncos President, John Elway is looking more and more like a horses ass. He had nothing to do with drafting Tim Tebow and was trying to use ANYONE else at QB than the popular Tebow. Pressured by fan feedback, Elway finally switched QB’s to Tim Tebow. Since Tebow has been starter, he has won every game he started….and has better stats did than Elway in his first season.

Why does Elway hate Tebow?

Why does Elway come down to the sideline at the end of the game…..to steal the spotlight from Tebow?

Is John jealous of Tebows popularity, and is trying to get back into the spotlight again, by comonig down to the sideline at the end of the game to snarfle some camera shots? John…stay in the booth. You had nothing to do with Tebow’s success. Just stay in the booth and smile with your handsome chompers.

In my mind,. Elway is not in control of anything. He is a fiugure-head….and who really hasn’t added value to the previous managements drafts. Elway is basking in Tebow’s sunshine, collecting a paycheck, for doing jack squat. Sadly, Tebow is not loved by either Elway or Head Coach John Fox. Both are griytting theoir teeth and making the best of an uncomfortable situation.

Tebow just happily keeps doing his thing…and proving both Elway and Fox wrong. All Tebow does is win, much to their chagrin.

Just think if they didn’t tyrade their best receiver the week before they gave Tebow his start. They purposely seem to have tried their hardest top prove Tebow isn’t their QB. They got rid of his best receiver, yet Tebow still lifts all the other players around him to a higher performance level.

Keep working your magic, Tim. I enjoy seeing Horsehead Elway and Fox squirming in their seat.

 

Tim Tebow’s “Top 10” Denver Bronco’s Christmas Wish List Uncovered !

December 24, 2010
Tebow Sitting On Santa's Lap

Tim Tebow's Secret Denver Christmas Wish List

Dear Santa:

I have been a very good boy this past season. I liked my coach, but he got fired. I didn’t like my Friar Tuck haircut, but I rolled with the flow. I bided my time behind the other QB’s. I’m a team player. It’s all about the team. Since I’ve been a good boy, can you bring me the following and place it under my Denver Christmas tree:

1. Urban Meyer as head coach

2. a Defense that isn’t full of holes, like swiss cheese

3. A running attack that isn’t near the bottom of the league

4. A girlfriend (no….NOT gold-digger, Jenn Sterger !)

5. An autographed picture of Mike Shanahan

6. More endorsement deals (think along the lines of “Got Milk”, not underwear)

7. Shelter the homeless,feed the hungry and care for the sick & weak

8. A lifetime membership on Match.com

9. An introduction to Rex Ryan’s wife

10. A Denver Bronco cheerleader under my tree

I can’t wait till Christmas morning. I’ll leave some cookies, milk and carrots for your reindeer and you. Tell Rudolf I said hello.

Love,

Timmy

TIM TEBOW WINS SECOND HEISMAN ! – Greatest Player in College Football History

December 12, 2009

Tim Tebow Displays His Second Heisman Trophy Award to Photographers

TIM TEBOW DOES IT AGAIN – Wins Second Heisman Award

Here it is….direct from the Downtown Athletic Club…Tim Tebow Wins his 2nd Heisman Award., setting a new precedent in NCAA record books.¬† Tebow already had won a Heisman two years ago, and was not favored to win this year, his senior season because of a loss against Alabama at the SEC Championship game. Heisman ballots were tabulated by accounting firm Ernst & Young…and Tebow led all other candidates….to win his second Heisman Trophy as the best football player in the nation. He led single-handedly the Gators to a 12-0 regular season record…and the Gators probably put too much pressure on him for the SEC Championship game by depending on Tebow for 92% of the plays.¬† Many thought that Tebow would not win this year, but when you look at his leadership, drive, committment and statistics, it is easy to understand how Tebow garnered more vote that Toby Gerhart (Stanford), Colt McCoy (Texas), Mark Ingram (Alabama) or Ndamukong Hsu (Nebraska).

The United States loves Tim Tebow. The world loves Tim Tebow. College football fans love Tim Tebow. Tebow was the face of college football for the past 4 years. He is an incredible talent, who certainly deserves this award for a encore.

Congratulation to Tim Tebow, 2007 and 2009 Heisman Winner !

BREAKING TIM TEBOW NEWS! Tebow Receives “Shock Absorber” Brain in New Sports Medicine Proceedure. Revolutionizes Concussion Comebacks !

October 10, 2009

BREAKING TIM TEBOW NEWS !

Tim Tebow displays baboon brain to medical interns at UF Shands Hospital

Tim Tebow displays Shock Absorber brain on his way to brain transplant surgery, performed by reknowned surgeon Dr. Walter Smojohowicz

Another medical advancement is being made today.

University of Florida Gators QB Tiom Tebow’s has received brain replacement surgery, known as “Shock Absorber” cranial inversion surgery. Details are coming out from Shands Medical Center, and it seems to be a radical technology advancement between Schutt (manufacturer of football helmets), Nike and General Motors.

Noted brain surgeon Walter Smojohowicz stated that this proceedure should allow Tebow play in the LSU game, but would need to receive fresh hydraulic fluid after the game.

This new technology allows Tebow brain to sit in a blanket of fluid, that will act like a cushion inside his skull, that his brain will be cradled in. According to medical experts, this will allow Tebow to play concussion free for the rest of the Gators football season.

Las Vegas oddsmakers have taken to the news well…the Gators are favored to win the game in Baton Rouge.

Seen below is an X-Ray of Tebow’s bruised brain prior to surgery

DOH! Seen above is the the amazing brain of John Reaves

X-Ray of Tim Tebow's brain after his concussion. Seen in this image is his compacted supercomputer, superhuman, processing data center.

Stay tuned to breaking news on the risky procedure.

DEVELOPING ….

Lane Kiffin Must Be The Woman! – Urban Meyer Wins Bet.

September 18, 2009

After getting beaten and humiliated by the Florida Gators, Urban Meyer, Tim Tebow and the water boys…Tennessee Head Football Coach Lane Kifin was forced to dress like his smoking hot wife Layla and join Urban Meyer for his festive victory dance at “The Swamp” ballroom and saloon on University Ave.

Kiffin was further humiliated after this dance, by being forced to dance like a can-can girl by local police officers and homeless people curbside.

SEC football coaches Urban Meyer and Lane Kiffin star in remake of classic movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life.”

September 16, 2009

The film takes place in the fictional town of Knoxford Falls shortly after the depression and stars Lane Kiffin as Coach Vol, a man whose imminent suicide on the eve of the Gator game gains the attention of his guardian angel, Phil Fulmer) who is sent to help him in his hour of need. Much of the film is told through flashbacks spanning Kiffin’s entire life and narrated by Tebow and Spikes, unseen Angels who are preparing Fulmer for his mission to save Kiffin. Through these flashbacks we see all the people whose lives have been touched by Kiffin and the indifference he has made to the community in which he lives and is secretly trying to escape from.

VIDEO: Tim Tebow Caught Dancing With ESPN Erin Andrews Last Night

September 15, 2009

University of Florida Gators handsome Uber QB Tim Tebow is caught dancing the night away with beautiful ESPN sideline reporter Erin Andrews. This top secret and previously unseen video was recorded with security camera’s at the famous “Late Night” nightclub, in Gainesville, FL.

This video confirms rumors that the two were secretly dating.
DEVELOPING …..

“High School Sacrifice” – Troy To Be Executed at Halftime …READ NOW”

September 8, 2009
Troy (Zak Efron) To Be Sacrificed During Gators Halftime Show

Troy (Zac Efron) To Be Sacrificed During Gators Halftime Show

Zac Efron, the likeable Disney actor who is “Troy” in the Disney movie “High School Musical” will be the human sacrifice this Saturday at halftime of the University of Florida Gators vs the Troy University Trojans football game, in Gainesville, FL.

Heisman QB Tim Tebow will spear Troy during refreshing Disney halftime show

Heisman QB Tim Tebow will spear Troy during refreshing Disney halftime show

Performing the sacrifice will be the entire Gator football team, led by Heisman Quarterback Tim Tebow. Tebow, seen here, will be wearing his warrior Trojan outfit to spear Efron during the unique halftime entertainment show.

Last week, Baptist University¬† Charleston Southern was fed to the alligators…and this week….a human sacrifice of “Troy.”

Seen above is Trojan Horse that Efron and cast of High School Musical will be brought onto Florida Field for halftime show and Troy sacrifice.

Seen above is Trojan Horse that Efron and cast of High School Musical will be brought onto Florida Field for halftime show and Troy sacrifice.

Seen in the article is the Trojan Horse vessel that Efron will be brought into Florida Field to midfield, where he and the cast of High School musical will perform a song and dance routine, before the sacrifice.

Troy University head football coach Larry Blakeney stated that his football team will also be sacrificed this weekend in Gainesville by the defending BCS National Champion Florida Gators football team.

Blakeney said that many of his players will be injured and maimed. Those players who cannot walk off the field, will be euthanized on the sidelines.

Here’s to “Troy”…may he/they live long in the memories of Florida Gator fans.

NCAA Approves Lambs To Be Fed To Florida Alligators On LIVE Television

September 1, 2009

Claims It Will Increase Ratings, Viewing Audience and Greedy Advertisers.

Sacrificial lambs before being led to slaughter

Sacrificial lambs before being led to slaughter

Tim Tebow is confident and ready to skewer and BBQ the Charleston Southern Football team this weekend in Gainesville, for the opening game of the 2009 football season.

Tenacious Tim, seen above after sharpening his spear, is ready to impale the sacrificial Charleston Southern football squad. Charleston Southern, not known for the football prowess has thrown their helpless football team “lambs” to the “lions” by their athletic director, Hank Small.

The Charleston Southern Buccaneers, a tiny Baptist college of only 3,000 peaceful students will face the defending 2008 BCS National Champion University of Florida Gators. It can be compared to the Christians (Baptists in this case) being thrown to the lions, of biblical lore.

Gator eating the flesh of Charleston Southern football team members

Gator eating the flesh of Charleston Southern football team members

If there ever was a mismatch this NCAA season…..this is the game!

Gator alumni are somewhat embarrassed that this game is even happening. Already the Associated Press has given the spread on this game to over 70 points. Football fans feel sorry for the players on the Buccaneer football team. Alachua County has extra ambulances and paramedics ready to cart off injured Southern Carolina players.

Shands Hospital in Gainesville has called in extra medical personnel to the emergency room and orthopedic departments.

Red Cross has medivac helicopters on stand-by.

The Florida Gators will chomp the Buccaneers and make them walk the plank… and send them back home with bad memories and trauma. Pychologists are prepared to provide the Buccaneer squad with counseling and me3otional support groups when they return to Charleston.

In case Charleston Southern gets too many players injured to field a squad, or in case they quit and walk off the field….Ft. Lauderdale St Thomas Aquinas High School, one the the top high school football teams tin the nation, will replace the Charleston Southern football team, to finish the game.

Will David slay Goliath this Saturday? Absolutely not.

3 Paramedic ambulance teams will be prepared to rush injured Buccaneer football players to the emergency rooms of local hospitals

3 Paramedic ambulance teams will be prepared to rush injured Buccaneer football players to the emergency rooms of local hospitals

Tebow and the Gators victorious….and Gator fans….happy yet embarrassed by the degree of this monumental mismatch.

Stay tuned to count the carnage.

DEVELOPING….